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The old man opened the drawer of his wife's chest and took a packet wrapped with rice paper: "This, he said, is not any packet, it is lingerie". He threw away the paper and he observed the beautiful silk and embroidery. "We bought it the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She never used it. She was keeping it for a special occasion. Well I think this is the right occasion". He went close to the bed and he put it next to the other things he was going to bring to the funeral home. His wife had just died. Turning towards me he said: "Do not keep anything for a special occasion, everyday that you live is a special occasion".

I am still thinking of his words and they have changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit in the terrace and admire the view, without noticing the weeds in the garden. I spend more time with my family and friends and less time working. I understand that life is a succession of experiences to be enjoyed and not just about survival. I do not keep anything anymore. I use my crystal glasses everyday. I wear my new jacket to go to the supermarket, if I so decide or if I feel like it. I no longer keep my best perfume for special events, I use it every time I want to. The word "someday" has disappeared from my vocabulary. If it is worth it to listen, see or do I want to listen, see or do it now. I am not sure what my friend's wife would have done if she had known that she would have not been here for that tomorrow that every one takes so much for granted. I think she might have called all her relatives and intimate friends. Maybe she would have called some old friends to make amends for an old dispute.

I like to think she might have gone to eat some oriental food, her favourite. It is these few things not done that would bother me if I knew these were my last hours. Upset because I stopped seeing good friends that I meant to contact someday. Upset because I did not write those letters I meant to write one day. Upset and sad because I did not tell often enough to my brothers and sons how much I love them.

Now I try not to postpone, keep or not do anything that would add laughter and fun to our lives. And every day I tell myself that this day is special....... everyday, every hour, every minute is special.

Reproduced with the kind permission of Andy Spring
Finance Director
Doncaster Health Authority (At the time of writing)